Sunday, 4 June 2017

MANKINIS, BROMPERS AND MEGGINGS, BUT TELL ME AGAIN HOW WOMEN ARE SO FRAGILE

source: www.antoineward.com
Summer’s coming, and that means out with the old, in with the new, especially when it comes to clothes. However, some don’t only bring out the typical summer frocks, but also their completely rusted way of thinking. A few weeks ago, the bromper – a  romper for bro’s, you know – became a viral hit on internet, and right now, the mankini – a ‘male’ bathing suit - is well on its way to becoming an internet bang as well. The only thing I am banging though, is my head. Against a wall. I’ve had it, officially, with men being so fucking fragile about their masculinity that they need to come up with a neologism to justify them wearing a piece of clothing that is normally marketed towards women.

It is not much of a secret that a lot of people (not to say men) refer to women as being the weaker sex, the more fragile one. It’s those people who created the toxic ideas that come with the term ‘feminity’. Being feminine means being weak, being emotional, maybe even crazy or bipolar. Men aren't those things, of course. Men don’t have emotions, they don’t overthink, they just go with the flow. Dudes are chill, bro. Be a dude, don’t be a sissy.
However, dudes seem to have no problem with peaking in their girlfriend’s closet and drawing inspiration from it. A couple of years ago, legging were very popular, and of course men had to get in on the comfortable yet stylish bottoms. Some stores started carrying leggings for men, but they did not call them leggings, oh no. Imagine being a man and having to wear a piece of clothing with a name that is linked to womenswear! THE HORROR! No, meet the meggings, male leggings. Not to be confused with leggings of course, those are for women, and they are COMPLETELY different! Except, they were not.

Right now, the same is happening with rompers and bathing suits. They look cool or are comfortable, men feel like they might look good in them, so they wear ‘em. Sounds good, right? Wear whatever the fuck you want if you feel good in it. But noooooooooo, the Men™ have to defend their masculinity at all costs, so they came up with neologisms to fit their sartorial choices. And thus, the bromper and mankini were born. Now, tell me again how women are fragile? I don’t recall them coming up with a new name for the suit (Wuit? Fuit?) when it was incorporated into womenswear because women didn’t want to be associated with being rude macho’s? I just don’t get how it can be so hard for some people to grasp the idea of just wearing whatever the fuck you want simply because you like it. Not because society or norm thinking says you should or shouldn’t, but just because you WANT to. How are you when you need to invent a new word to justify what you are wearing, and to confirm your masculinity? News flash: masculinity isn’t about creating compounds with ‘bro’ or ‘male’ in them and calling it a day. To me, true masculinity is about being confident enough in your own skin to do whatever the fuck you want, without giving a damn about what other people think. Consider that.


Now, excuse me while I go enjoy my life wearing rompers, skirts and dresses because I feel like it. I won’t be waiting until some insecure bloke comes up with the term ‘mirts’ or ‘bresses’. Sorry ‘bout it. 

Sunday, 7 May 2017

DON'T NEED YOUR FLOWERS


It's been a hot minute since I've done a make-up look on here, but I'm back at it! The inspiration behind this one was actually one product: the Sisley Phyto-Blush Twist. When I received the hot pink one in the mail, I immediately felt like challenging myself. A cream product can be extremely versatile, especially when it's a flashy shade. By playing around with textures, intensity and techniques, I wanted to test the limits of this product, and use it to its full potential.

Inspired by Bowie (always) and the monochromatic make-up I've seen going around lately, I created this dreamy pink look, and I'm all here for it. Okay, it isn't very wearable, but I sure as hell had fun bringing it into existence. Also, how perfect were these flowers to use as a prop? At this particular moment, they actually have a deeper meaning to me. I don't need your flowers, I'm working on growing and fixing my own, thank you very much.

Now, let's look a little deeper into this look! For the eyes, I worked the cream blush onto my lids with my fingertips, to keep maximum coverage. For the dramatic outer corners, I used a big blending brush to sweep out and create that faded, winged effect. On my forehead, cheeks and jawbone, I used this fushia beauty to contour, which is extremely easy to do with a stick product. One swipe on each side, a little blending and done! Lastly, I wanted to try something different for the lips. I've seen that messy, almost wet looking lip look around on instagram, and this was my first attempt at it. I just used the blush stick to dab a little colour onto my lips, and then went over it with gloss, excessively and sloppy. Pink-vampire-sucking-cosmopolitan-blood realness! Obviously, I had to add a glow, so I used the Pink Heart shade from the Moonchild glow kit by Anastasia Beverly Hills. Honestly, that palette is what my inner space princess dreams are made of. Top it off with a little pink rhinestone underneath the eyes because EXTRA AF, et voilà! You got yourself a #lewk, henny!







PRODUCTS USED:

FACE: Primer: Smashbox Photo Finish Primer Oil
Foundation: Sisley Sisleÿa Le Teint in  1B Ivory
Blush/Contour: Sisley Phyto-Blush Twist in Fushia
Highlight: ABH Moonchild Glow Kit (Pink Heart)

EYES: 
Sisley Phyto-Blush Twist in Fushia

LIPS:
Sisley Phyto-Blush Twist in Fushia
Sisley Phyto Lip Star in White Diamond


Monday, 24 April 2017

NOT YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND

I'm gay, yes. I can also be your friend, maybe even your best friend. And still, I am not and will never be your Gay Best Friend. Over the past week, I've seen two major media outlets here in Belgium share a story on women and their homosexual partner in crime, and I just needed to write some things off my mind. My thoughts on the concept, if you will, my two cents on why I immediately start angry sweating when I hear people using the term ‘Gay Best Friend’.



The term Gay Best Friend is possessive, objectifying and completely based on stereotypes and prejudice. Why? Let me break it down. Firstly, it's possessive and objectifying, because by using it, it feels like you are claiming us, as if we are yours to use and abuse when you need/want it. A healthy friendship is about balance and equality, and using derogatory terms like 'Gay Best Friend' is not the way to go. We are not an object, not an accessory, not something to proudly show off to your other friends. Please, treat us like humans, not like some kind of exotic animal in the zoo.
Secondly, I hate to break your bubble, but if you think you're openminded and not prejudiced but you don't see anything wrong with using 'Gay Best Friend', you're just not that openminded. Sorry 'bout it. Gay Best Friends always like shopping, they like drama, they're clumsy, funny and a little mean. Guess what? Those are all things that are stereotypically connected to being gay. As if we get a Gay Starter Kit when we come out, including a love for tiny dogs, an entire catalogue of every fashion trend ever and the lyrics to Madonna's complete oeuvre. Of course there are guys and girls who love all of those things, and who maybe even have all the characteristics I named. And that's totally okay, of course, but my point is that those things aren't and shouldn't be linked to a sexuality. Generalisations are dangerous and hurtful, always. If you think about it, how ridiculous is it to expect someone to be a certain way just because he or she accidently likes men or women? That's like saying all people who like broccoli also love to play squash in their free time. Imagine: "What, you don't love squash? But... didn’t you like broccoli?" Yeah. You get the point.


No longer a person, only a character

Let's have a little story time. Once upon a... woops, this is no fairy tale. Time for real talk. When I was young teenage boy, about sevenish years ago, I came out of the closet. I was thirteen and felt ready so I collected all the courage I had and told my friends first. All went well, or well, almost.

In hindsight I could have seen it coming. When I told her, her eyes widened, her lips formed an almost ecstatic smile, she grasped for air. One, two, thrOMG, YOU CAN BE MY GAY BEST FRIEND NOW! At the time, I laughed it off in the moment, just relieved I got my secret out. It wasn't until later that I realized how toxic her reaction actually was.
In a matter of seconds, three words - I am gay - I was no longer Joppe, her friend, I was Gay, her friend. No longer a real person but some kind of character, designed to please her. Sounds dramatic, I know, but think about it. She immediately reduced me to my sexuality, and nothing more. I was gay, which for her meant that she could do everything all gay guys stereotypically like to do with me. You know what? I like shopping, but quite often not for others. I don't like gossiping at all. Not my style. Granted, I can be a little dramatic from time to time, but I've got enough drama in me to fill that gap on my own, thank you very much.

Yes, our sexuality is a part of who we are, but it isn't everything. Sure, it defines some parts of our lives, but so does the fact that I don't like sports, or how I love to sing until my voice is gone. We are more than our sexuality, we are more than your friend, your accessory. We're just us, like you are you. And please, let's be friends, best friends even. But I am not and will never be your Gay Best Friend.